Dance Dance Revolution

I am the KING of DDR!!!!!!!

Compulsion

Mom says I can go to the Ithaca Festival and submit a paper on how cats eating garbage bags is NOT the most effecient way to recycle.

I told her that she wasn't particularly funny.

I know not why I do, what I do.
I only know it must be done.

Mom has now taken to securing all garbage bags and plastic bags so there's nothing to chew on. She means well . . . but it makes life more difficult for an obsessive compulsive like myself.

Get well soon, Jon.

A little something to make you smile.

Cat secrets for better health

Dear Jon Jon,
I'm sorry you're sick.

Here are some of my cat secrets for better health.
Take naps.
Chase butterflies.
Take more naps.
Get some sunshine.
Clean up--with a long bath . . . .
Have a nap.
Eat the best food you can get out of a can . . .
Stretch.
And have a good sleep.

And you will be healthy all the time.

PS Don't eat plastic bags. They make you barf.

Love love love
DOUGAL

Dad's Home!

Dad's Home! Dad's Home!
He came home last night. Mom spent most of Saturday morning cleaing and she sat down to have a talk with us before she left for the airport.

"No furballs. No accidents. No cat fights with clumps of hair everywhere . . you got that?"

Tiger can't hear to well so I KNOW he didn't get it but Chester and I promised.

And we kept the promise.

There were furballs and cat fights this MORNING . . .but I still say we kept our promise.

Mom says I need to stop eating the plastic garbage bags.

I don't know why I do it. It is a bad habit. They don't even taste that good. And they certainly don't sit well on my tummy . . . but I just can't stop.

It's a very bad habit.

Sorry mom.

Love you mom.

Thursday evening here, Friday morning there

Dear Dad,

Mom says you are coming home soon. I hope so.
This evening mom paid almost NO attention to me.
She helped Chester with some snarly hair he had on his tummy. She cooed to him and called him sweetie and sang him songs while she combed his hair out. (He wasn't very happy about the whole thing. In fact he said some seriously bad words!)

After a couple of nights of Mom taking movies of me and looking for movies of me she spent tonight typing up a list of the movies that you guys have.

BOOOOOOOORRRRRRING . . .

And she has this really really bad habit. She puts on HGTV or Fine Living and lets it run in the background. Please spare me from one more home makeover!

I need you dad.

I need you to play golf with me and to scratch that spot, just behind my ears.
I need you to tell mom to give us MORE food and fresher water. Changing it once a day isn't enough. I like my water fresher than that . . .

Dad . . . please come home soon . . . I really really miss you.

Mom just doesn't "get me."

Love love love
DOUGAL

The last of the Kitten Tapes

The Kitten Tapes

Dear Jon Jon

She's SERIOUS!
She's going to put those videos on the Internet!!!!!

HELP ME!


Love love love
DOUGAL

Wednesday evening here, Thursday morning there

Dear Dad,

Mom's been watching home movies tonight and she got all weepy over some Pomp and Circumstance stuff she was watching.

Then . . . jeeze Dad . . . she found them. . . . my baby pictures.

It's so embarassing!!!!!!!

She said she's uploading them to YouTube tonight and going to put the links here as soon as they're done.

Yes, I'm really really cute, but she has the pictures of me walking in my food and eating a styrofoam plate!!!! How humiliating!

. . . anyway . . . I love you Dad. I miss you lots.

Love love love
Dougal

Wednesday morning here, Wednesday evening there

Dear Dad,

Mom is driving us crazy with the camera stuff. Now she's trying to hook up the video camera to the TV so we can try and find my old kitten movies. She needs an S Video cable and soon we'll have all Dougal TV.

Now while this isn't a bad idea--I'd LOVE a TV Channel dedicated to glorious me me me. She's hunting out the embarassing kitten tapes. Oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make her stop!

It's too embarassing to see how silly I was as a kitten! And clumsy.

I know her, she's going to try and put THAT up on YouTube too. Then EVERYONE in the universe will see my clumsy adolescence. Is that fair?

Any way . . . I love LOVE loVE you! and I miss you Dad.

I had to settle for sitting on mom's lap last night and it just isn't the same. She doesn't know that spot behind my ears/back of my neck that feels so darn good when you scratch it.

And she seems to think one can of cat food once a day is enough for all three of us. It's hardly enough for ME!

Please come home soon. (and don't forget--I'm the BLACK cat--Dougal the Handsome!!)

LOVE LOVE loVE
DOUGAL

Everybody wants to get in on the act.

Tuesday morning here--Tuesday evening There

Dear Dad,

Today is Earth Day.

Google has a moss covered logo today. It surprised me and then I remembered--oh yeah . . . EARTH DAY!

Mom is up on the treadmill and I just wanted to tell you that I love you, miss you and really . . . I would be of great help and protection to mom if I could sleep on the big bed. She isn't convinced. You need to remind her what a great spider spotter I am. And I think I'd pick up on bees too . . . even if I was sleeping.

Love love love
DOUGAL

What a HANDSOME cat!

I have a video on YouTube!

Mom was talking to Jim while she was filming. She said it was just practice . . .and that no body would really care that she wasn't telling me how wonderful and handsome I am.

Monday evening here--Tuesday morning there

Dear Dad,

I have been very helpful today.

I opened all the lower cabinet doors again, so when mom came home she didn't have to waste energy opening them.

I hung out in the red chair and soaked up lots of sunshine to try and keep the sun from fading the red leather.

I tested all the doors in the house and found out that the laundry room was OPEN so I stayed there most of the day, napping on the clean laundry and making sure Chester and Tiger didnt' come in and shed all over things.

I helped mom cook dinner. She chopped up onions and some chicken and made a tasty meal that she said wasn't for cats. Only for humans.

I don't like onions anyway. But it was fun to watch.

I'm trying to convince mom to make some cookies. Or brownies.

OR we could get in the car and go to Dairy Queen. mmmmmmmmmmmmm DQ.

. . . . . dreaming of hot fudge sundaes . . . . . i love love love hot fudge . . . .

ANYWAY . . back to you, Dad.

I love you and miss you.

LOVe LOV E LO VE
DOUGAL

P.S. PLEASE tell mom that it's okay for me to sleep on the big bed. I really think she would feel safer at night if there was a black panther guarding her sleep!

Monday morning here--Monday evening there--Hello DAD!!!

Dear Dad,

I miss you.

Mom let's us stay out all night and we've been very very good. I practiced my ninja moves and knocked over the deck chairs. It woke mom up and she came out to see what all the fuss was. She said something about, "get some sleep, little bunnies!" and went back to bed.

I've asked her very sweetly if I can sleep on the big bed too. I know that while you're out of town, there's LOTS of room on your side of the bed. But mom said no. no no no. No way.

She doesn't like me at 2:00 in the morning. Not so much anyway.

I watched a show on the travel channel last night for the 10 greatest natural wonders. I want to go to Africa now--and the Grand Canyon. They showed pictures of people on a photo safari in this giant crater/plain that had lots of animals and big cat preditors. That's for me! I could be a hometown reporter checking out the REAL LIFE action and drama on an African Safari.

And you can ride ponies down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. What is not to love about THAT?

None of the places they mentioned had penguins, which I thought was a real rip. Clearly penguin predjudice. Of all the places to see in the world, how could you NOT have penguins in there SOMEwhere?

Any way . . .

love love love
Dougal

Training film for cute kittens

If you were given 1/2 a can of sardines.
a) do you ask, "Please sir, may I have some more?"
b) do you eat the sardines quickly so your brothers don't get them
c) do you share your sardines with your brothers who also only got 1/2 a can of sardines.
d) do you plant your sardines and hope to grow sardine trees


If you were given a pony.
a) do you ask for another pony to keep the first pony company.
b) do you have press photos taken of yourself riding the pony and try to get on TV
c) do you ask the pony to join your Socrates philosophy club
d) do you ask the pony if they have any sardines they'd be willing to spare?


If you were to meet a penguin
a) would you ask him to teach you how to fly.
b) would you check to see if he had a baby penguin hiding under his belly flubber?
c) would you invite him to tea and share your sardines.
d) would you get your photo taken with him, press release it and try to get on TV.


If you had a chance to be on TV
a) would you shout "Free Tibet"
b) would you put a plea in to save the Endangered Sardines
c) would you share your secret weight loss and fitness plan
d) would you demonstrate how to serve sardines to penguins, ponies and the Pope.

If you were a handsome black cat who's never BEEN on TV and who's bored bored bored during the day.
a) would you make phone calls to the President advising him to part his hair on the other side.
b) would you write incomprehensible plays about the angst of catness
c) would you take up expressionist art
d) would you write messages to the world, tie them to the legs of Robins and Squirrels and hope someone writes back . . . eventually . . . if you can get that tiny little note on that tiny little leg . . . . BE STILL!!!!!!

Ah . . . the secret to cat yodeling at last revealed.

By the way

Mail your TAXES!

Don't forget!!!!

Tax refunds pay for cat nip and sardines and sunshine.

So PAY UP!

There's a Cat House Next Door.

Once upon a Time there was a house next door.

A little house.

About the size of . . . kitten-humans.

A Big FUZZY Cat walked by and saw it.

She said. What a nice house.

And she went up to the house and said, Knock Knock, anybody home?

There was a rustling and bustling inside the house. The big fuzzy cat was intrigued. What could it mean?

So she crept closer and listened.

Sure enough. WHAP! It was a kitten inside! A cat-kitten, not a kitten human!

The Big Fuzzy cat was annoyed.

It was George.

HER kitten.

He was inside and he darted to the window. She yelled at him to get out.

He ran back inside and danced.

You could hear him laughing gleefully.

Big Fuzzy MAMA cat was amused.

She jumped up on the roof and said, "Hide and seek! Can you find me?"

And George ran out of the house all the way around the house and couldn't find her.

He was confused.

And then Big Fuzzy MAMA cat sang down to him from the room, "Up here, silly kitten."

Now . . . MY mom tried to get pictures of kitten George, but he was WAY too fast.

It was dusk and the camera was having a hard time with telephoto lens and taking pictures through our window screen . . .

and

well.

You have to take my word for it.

There WAS a George-Kitten in the house! HONEST!!!!

Mom moved the big comfy chair

She told me that "gosh darn it!" it's too cold to sit outside so we're going to move the comfy chair in front of the window to get all of the sun we can!

It looks a little silly.

But . . . whoa . . . it feels really really good.

Love that comfy chair.

And the sun.

~~sigh~~

Dear Mom,

I am writing to you so I can get this out with getting choked up and emotional. I am very hurt and very sad.
This morning when you got up you told me I couldn't eat the garbage bags.
Then you pushed me off of the desk and told me I wasn't supposed to be up there and FINALLY . . . you picked me up and went "Oooph! George you're getting fat!"

I am not fat!

I'm . . . husky.

And muscular and big boned.

I am not FAT!

I could still chase a mouse if I had to. If there were mice.

Which is another thing. There are no mice in this house!

You need to bring some home.

How am I supposed to GET exercise if there aren't any mice to chase? (I watch cartoons. I get the picture.)

Love love love
DOUGAL

PS Please don't bring home any SMART mice. They're harder to catch.

Today is draw a picture of a bird day

Today
TWOday
Tooday

toodallyday
toowoowoowooday

TUESDAY
Twoday

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I love penguins. They're SO smart!

QUICK!

Turn on the TV!
Kwame's resigning as mayor!









april fools