Mom . . . I need a Valentine

February is here.
And once again, I do not have a Valentine.

Mom. Please. Get. Me. A Valentine.

One with will send me sardines and talk for hours about whether or not Penguins can fly.

I just want someone I can share my hobbies and interests with (But NOT share Sardines!).

So . .

get on that.

I'll be waiting.